Crapola

Untitled by Noah Young
(heavily a work in progress, i need people to critique these first two paragraphs. Thanks.)

The telephone ran while he was running the vacuum cleaner. Annoyed at now having to turn off the vacuum, pick up the phone, then after that turn the vacuum back on, then pick up where he left off, Daniel politely attempted to mask his disappointment as he answered the phone. As he heard what the woman on the other line said, his light-hearted voice and upbeat tone quickly melted away.
“I’ll be right there,” said Daniel shakily to the woman.

*

“I tried to tell him, I tried,” whispered Daniel out loud, yet to himself, as his ’96 Buick raced down I-95 in the fast lane. The woman he had talked to earlier was a secretary at Greencich Hospital. Daniel’s son, Richy was in a serious motorcycle accident.